2/14/17

So it’s the new year… and i’ve been no where to be found… oops. Thanks to my friend for pointing out my absence or else I may have never made my way back. Gotta keep you on your toes, no? Posting schedules are overrated (this is heavy sarcasm, please no one attack me).

Quick updates:

  • NEW PONY! YAY! He’s a 19 year old Westphalian. Until he leaves in June, i’ll refer to him as “Pig”. I still miss the Dutch Warmblood I had more than anything and he’ll always be my heart horse. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t regret letting him go.
  • Physical therapy- It has been up and down. My motor control hasn’t gotten any better so we’ve now added myofascial release to the never ending list of treatments. It isn’t helping so far if i’m being honest, and i’m not the biggest fan of it, but i’ll give it a chance.
  • School- I don’t know if i’ve touched on this recently or at all. I’m a senior but won’t be graduating until late this summer/sometime in the fall. Basically i’m just catching up on classes and making up for time that Lyme stole from me.
  • Health wise- Seems like the lyme + co-infections are out of my system and now we’re just looking at dealing with the “consequences” of Lyme. I’m still working with my acupuncturist, physical therapist (obviously) and now the myfascial ┬árelease guy.

 

That’s all for now. I know I don’t have many readers at all, BUT if anyone has suggestions as to what you’d like to hear from me that would be very helpful ­čÖé

Walking on Eggshells

I am currently feeling sad, frustrated, and unmotivated. I got up this morning in a fairly fowl mood which wasn’t surprising considering that recently I haven’t been much of a morning person. No big deal and I went on with my morning to get ready for physical therapy, as I do twice a week. Normally PT will put me in a better mood, but even today it couldn’t kick the mood I was in. It was a good session considering I rolled my ankle again the other day and had a not so hot lesson yesterday, but I still left feeling agitated, which is far from how I typically feel afterwards. This mood has continued throughout today so it has been a bit of a rough one for me. It’s┬áokay and I know tomorrow will be better, but damn, today was hard. I’ve lashed out at my mom a few times (sorry mom) as well as my dad which he frankly, deserved. Not even “Hamilton” is pulling me out of this rut tonight, AKA those of you around me better run and hide, like now.

I’ve been known to set a little “too high” standards for myself and┬áthe┬álast few days i’ve been shoved back into reality so maybe that’s the source of this mood. Between riding and PT, I have high expectations for myself and when I don’t reach those it frustrates the hell out of me. Instead of admitting that something is hard for me, i’ll find any way to swerve around admitting it. Now this has been going on a while and my PT has said a few times “There is no denial in the Nile”. You have to admit defeat to move forward at times, and I guess that’s where I stand at the moment, and it frustrates and confuses┬áme. Hopefully tomorrow will be better and if I find the motivation to get myself out to the barn, that i’ll have a good ride.