Titanium

I am titanium. I am strong… at least i’m trying to be. I’m trying to pick myself up and dust myself off, despite the many things trying to pull me back down to a darker place. I’ve been there and I was stuck there for what seemed to be very long time. I had someone pushing me (not family) to do and say things I was not comfortable with and at the time I felt there was only one way out. He was a male figure who I had put complete trust into but he ended up driving me into a deep depression. It was scary, and I know I will never go back to that place, but whenever I start feeling a wave of sadness come back over me it makes me nervous. I’m keeping my head above water. Not only am I keeping it above water but i’m floating on my own and am keeping myself in a positive environment and surrounding myself with those who love me and care for me. I’m in a good state of mind which is something I haven’t been able to say for a while now.

On a happier note, it is my birthday in less than 48 hours. What is this craziness? I’ll be 18. I can vote and i’m legally an adult. This is huge and I intend to make this birthday the best I can and NOT spend it in another doctors office! I’ll be spending my birthday with friends and of course my favorite horse. You’ll be able to find me blasting music in my car headed to the barn to have a great, no doctor no medical nothing, day! WAHOOOOOO! Of course being a safe driver at the same time! I’m hoping in the next few weeks i’ll be able to see one of my best friends, Marybeth. She has been like a sister to me and a best friend. She gives me amazing guidance as she is older than I am and can always turn around my outlook when it’s negative! I can’t believe that i’m lucky enough to know such an incredible person. I know she’ll be able to guide me through the “big 18” and help me navigate this now seemingly larger world.

So June, give me all ya got, but i’m going to take it and run with it. I got this, and i’m fighting as hard as I can. I refuse to give up.
Great motivational song and the inspiration behind this blog post: