Expect the Unexpected

It’s the only way to get through when things pop up unexpectedly. You prepare for the unexpected so you can better deal with it when something does arise. Today didn’t go my way and i’m having a very tough night if i’m being completely honest. Today was my 18th birthday, a milestone that I was more than excited to welcome. 18 is a big thing, at least it is for me, and it was something I really wanted to celebrate with nothing popping up. Being that i’m well, me, things of course didn’t go this way.

I started my morning and early afternoon off just fine as I headed over to the barn blasting all of my favorite music. I was by all means going to enjoy my day. June 3rd has been an important day to me for the last 18 years. Though i’ve spent my last two birthdays in doctors offices I was extremely determined not to let that happen this year. I had been telling my mom for weeks leading up to today that I wanted no doctors and nothing that had anything to do with anything medical. Didn’t happen. It was out of my control, but i’m still really upset over it.

A few days ago (I think Monday, so the 1st of June) a bat somehow made its way into my room. Don’t ask me how, I have absolutely no clue. It also died on my floor. Yeah…. gross. So I woke up that morning to a dead little bat on my floor. Queue screams and running down the hallway to my mom and dad. Long story short, we sent it off to be tested for any diseases, such as rabies. Now, the people at the town center (who sent it out to the state) assured us that they had not had a rabid bat in my area for 13 years. As soon as my mom told me this I said to her “Watch the bat that was in my room be the first to have rabies.” Well I was right. Test results came back today and it was positive for rabies.

I was at the barn when my mom got the call so I called to check in with her after I had ridden; having absolutely no idea about the news. She told me about the results and quickly had to let me go to call my doctor and hers. Soon enough I was in tears because I would be headed back to the hospital in an hour. I snuck a few pony cuddles and headed home, trying not to scream the entire drive home.

Headed to the hospital at 5pm and was there until about 8:15. Got 3 shots. 1 didn’t hurt at all, the other 2 HURT. Those other two were immunoglobin (probably spelled that wrong… sorry) just in case I had been exposed or the bat had bitten/touched me before he passed away. I have a very high pain tolerance but those felt like they were burning my spine and like my back was being pumped up with liquid. Lots of pressure and extremely uncomfortable.

Unfortunately i’m still not done. I have 3 more shots to do. One this Saturday and the other 2 spaced out over the next two weeks. Pretty upset and frustrated. The ONE day of the year I was determined to stay out of a doctors office just didn’t happen. My 18th birthday turned into a hospital party of making sure that i’m protected against rabies.  One bat ruined my day, and maybe I shouldn’t be letting it, but it was a huge disappointment and very upsetting. I just wanted a break…. just a break. One day off from this Hell.

So as I sit here in my bed extremely uncomfortable and sore i’m telling you, if you are ever touched by a bat or bitten please call your doctor. The shots hurt but rabies in humans is 100% lethal. Trust me, the pain of the shots definitely isn’t worth the possibility of losing your life.

I can only handle so much world…. please STOP!!

Titanium

I am titanium. I am strong… at least i’m trying to be. I’m trying to pick myself up and dust myself off, despite the many things trying to pull me back down to a darker place. I’ve been there and I was stuck there for what seemed to be very long time. I had someone pushing me (not family) to do and say things I was not comfortable with and at the time I felt there was only one way out. He was a male figure who I had put complete trust into but he ended up driving me into a deep depression. It was scary, and I know I will never go back to that place, but whenever I start feeling a wave of sadness come back over me it makes me nervous. I’m keeping my head above water. Not only am I keeping it above water but i’m floating on my own and am keeping myself in a positive environment and surrounding myself with those who love me and care for me. I’m in a good state of mind which is something I haven’t been able to say for a while now.

On a happier note, it is my birthday in less than 48 hours. What is this craziness? I’ll be 18. I can vote and i’m legally an adult. This is huge and I intend to make this birthday the best I can and NOT spend it in another doctors office! I’ll be spending my birthday with friends and of course my favorite horse. You’ll be able to find me blasting music in my car headed to the barn to have a great, no doctor no medical nothing, day! WAHOOOOOO! Of course being a safe driver at the same time! I’m hoping in the next few weeks i’ll be able to see one of my best friends, Marybeth. She has been like a sister to me and a best friend. She gives me amazing guidance as she is older than I am and can always turn around my outlook when it’s negative! I can’t believe that i’m lucky enough to know such an incredible person. I know she’ll be able to guide me through the “big 18” and help me navigate this now seemingly larger world.

So June, give me all ya got, but i’m going to take it and run with it. I got this, and i’m fighting as hard as I can. I refuse to give up.
Great motivational song and the inspiration behind this blog post: