2/14/17

So it’s the new year… and i’ve been no where to be found… oops. Thanks to my friend for pointing out my absence or else I may have never made my way back. Gotta keep you on your toes, no? Posting schedules are overrated (this is heavy sarcasm, please no one attack me).

Quick updates:

  • NEW PONY! YAY! He’s a 19 year old Westphalian. Until he leaves in June, i’ll refer to him as “Pig”. I still miss the Dutch Warmblood I had more than anything and he’ll always be my heart horse. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t regret letting him go.
  • Physical therapy- It has been up and down. My motor control hasn’t gotten any better so we’ve now added myofascial release to the never ending list of treatments. It isn’t helping so far if i’m being honest, and i’m not the biggest fan of it, but i’ll give it a chance.
  • School- I don’t know if i’ve touched on this recently or at all. I’m a senior but won’t be graduating until late this summer/sometime in the fall. Basically i’m just catching up on classes and making up for time that Lyme stole from me.
  • Health wise- Seems like the lyme + co-infections are out of my system and now we’re just looking at dealing with the “consequences” of Lyme. I’m still working with my acupuncturist, physical therapist (obviously) and now the myfascial  release guy.

 

That’s all for now. I know I don’t have many readers at all, BUT if anyone has suggestions as to what you’d like to hear from me that would be very helpful 🙂

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!

Ah, the holidays. I’d be lying if I said that I don’t absolutely adore this time of year. People are happier (kind of), nicer, and though probably a bit more stressed, seem lighter in a way. I’m not sure if that makes sense, but I hope it does.

Christmas today has been wonderful and a much needed day to relax at home and enjoy being around the fam. We all live under one roof (except for my brother who is away at college for the majority of the year) and we’re usually headed in different directions, so to be together is sadly, rare. Is what it is, just makes being together even more special!

Updates:

  • My normal PT has been away for the past few weeks so i’ve been working with another PT who I worked with for a year. Taking a different approach to things while we wait for him to get back… always good to get a second opinion!
  • Acupuncture was getting a bit complicated and confusing for a while there, in the sense that we had absolutely no idea whatsoever what was going on. BUT, that seems to have changed and now we may have found the source for some of my symptoms… whoopie!
  • Going to see some myofascial guy next weekend about my ankle to see if he can get my motor control moving in a better direction.
  • Riding is on the back burner right now. My old lease went home and we brought in a new horse for trial. She quickly re-aquainted me with the ground so it’s fair to say that it didn’t work out and we’re back to searching for a new horse. *Sigh*, wasn’t meant to be. Oh well.

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Another day.

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Look at that, i’m back already! Today has been a bit of a rough day, so I thought i’d include a picture of Patrick Dempsey posing with a gorgeous horse to cheer myself up. Why not, right? I had PT today and kinda got slapped in the face with reality. Truth is, my ankle isn’t holding up well and isn’t happy with me. Despite my desperate pleas for it to settle down, it has taken on quite an attitude and has been throwing impressive tantrums. *Sigh* there are just some battles you just can’t win. I’ll be taking 1-2 weeks off of riding (mark my words, it will be no longer than that) to hopefully allow the pain to calm down so we can focus on improving my motor control, which will help me ride more comfortably and effectively than I can at the moment. While I admit that I almost broke down crying when I was told that I needed this tiny bit of time off, i’m okay now and am moving forward. I’ll be back soon, and better than ever.

Quiet? I don’t think so!

It’s a bit busy in my house today. Maybe more than just a “bit” actually. Gardeners are outside pulling weeds which have taken over the “garden” that we have and are probably up to my neck, though they aren’t making much noise. Then we have 2 guys in the basement ripping up flooring because yet another pipe burst which led to water leaking which then leads to more lovely mold. Woohoo! Our cleaning lady was also here this morning, though she left a bit ago. So all in all, today has been loud and busy.

Yesterday consisted of PT and a glutathione injection, so that was fun (please note the sarcasm). PT is something I look forward to, but getting stabbed with a needle… not so much. Seems like my ankle is going through yet another “phase” of throwing tantrums and has been refusing to calm down for the last month or so. We’re not exactly sure what’s going on as the pain has increased and my motor control isn’t getting any better. It can be a bit frustrating for me so right now i’m trying to just get through it. We used ultrasound on the side of my ankle yesterday to help with pain, along with massage… did anybody say OW?! It looks like a lot more of the hands on therapy is in my future which is fine by me, it can just be a bit painful. Even so, it’s clear that you don’t get through life unscathed, so it is what it is for now. i’m lucky to have such a great physical therapist who is extremely knowledgable and is helping me get through this + is helping to keep me in a positive mental place along the way.

Today is just a boring day at home though so really I have nothing even relatively interesting to talk about. I upgraded my Iphone to IOS10 which i’m loving so far, and The Sims announced a new expansion pack which i’m excited about. I’m a bit of a techy kid, but what teenager isn’t these days?

So for now, that’s all. My dog is staring at me and clearly wants something which means I better figure it what she wants ASAP. She’s a 4 year old terrier so ignoring her isn’t exactly an option! Who knows when you’ll hear from me again or if you even want to hear from me again. Stay strong and take things day by day! Bye for now 🙂

9/8/16 Update

Whoops… I haven’t exactly been blogging. Not that people read this as it’s more of a way for myself to keep track of my progress, but still. Here’s a quick update of sorts…

  • Physical therapy: It’s going well and i’m trying to be patient as my motor control inches (centimeters would be better, but that’s not a real term) forward. I took a few steps back about 3 weeks ago and though we’re not sure why it happened, we’re trying to get me back to where I was. Slowly but surely i’ll get there, just have to be patient with myself.
  • Riding: WOOOO! Big one here. I’m allowed to jump again! I do have to tape my ankle and be sure not to overdo it, but i’m SO happy to be jumping again. I missed it oh so much and it feels good to be back in hunter land where I belong.
  • Health: Uhhh…. not really sure about this one as of right now. I’m in limbo I guess you could say. I had a setback a few weeks ago where I felt absolutely awful, but i’ve since recovered from that episode. I’m almost back to my baseline, just not quite there yet. I should have bloodwork results back pretty soon and i’ll see my doctor again at the end of this month so i’m hoping for some answers. We’ll see.
  • Random: I am still oh so obsessed with Hamilton… very, very, obsessed. Something about it just speaks to me and I can always find something in the music to help me through a rough patch. Love it.

That’s all for now, maybe i’ll be back soon, maybe I won’t. Who knows. Goodnight all!

Walking on Eggshells

I am currently feeling sad, frustrated, and unmotivated. I got up this morning in a fairly fowl mood which wasn’t surprising considering that recently I haven’t been much of a morning person. No big deal and I went on with my morning to get ready for physical therapy, as I do twice a week. Normally PT will put me in a better mood, but even today it couldn’t kick the mood I was in. It was a good session considering I rolled my ankle again the other day and had a not so hot lesson yesterday, but I still left feeling agitated, which is far from how I typically feel afterwards. This mood has continued throughout today so it has been a bit of a rough one for me. It’s okay and I know tomorrow will be better, but damn, today was hard. I’ve lashed out at my mom a few times (sorry mom) as well as my dad which he frankly, deserved. Not even “Hamilton” is pulling me out of this rut tonight, AKA those of you around me better run and hide, like now.

I’ve been known to set a little “too high” standards for myself and the last few days i’ve been shoved back into reality so maybe that’s the source of this mood. Between riding and PT, I have high expectations for myself and when I don’t reach those it frustrates the hell out of me. Instead of admitting that something is hard for me, i’ll find any way to swerve around admitting it. Now this has been going on a while and my PT has said a few times “There is no denial in the Nile”. You have to admit defeat to move forward at times, and I guess that’s where I stand at the moment, and it frustrates and confuses me. Hopefully tomorrow will be better and if I find the motivation to get myself out to the barn, that i’ll have a good ride.

Monday

Monday is a big (and scary) day. You see, i’ve had this little bugger sitting in the right side of my chest for nearly a year now, and it is time for us to part ways. For the past year, Mr. Portacath has been making his home in the right side of my chest and has greatly over stayed his not so welcoming, welcome. He (it) not so comfortably made his (its) home there and hasn’t budged since. Truthfully, i’ve liked it much more than the 2 PICC lines I had in the past except for one reason. You see, the first (and only… yeah) time I used my port I almost died, so that was a fun experience! *Please note the sarcasm!* While trying to start back on my IV meds, I had an anaphylactic reaction and if my mom hadn’t been right there, I would’ve been in big trouble. Alas, it is time for me to serve Mr.Portacath his eviction notice. He will be moving on out (FINALLY) early Monday afternoon. I’ll be out of commission for a few days and then it’s right back to working hard in PT – with a little more freedom in my chest! Lets hope no Port will ever be moving back in!