Quiet? I don’t think so!

It’s a bit busy in my house today. Maybe more than just a “bit” actually. Gardeners are outside pulling weeds which have taken over the “garden” that we have and are probably up to my neck, though they aren’t making much noise. Then we have 2 guys in the basement ripping up flooring because yet another pipe burst which led to water leaking which then leads to more lovely mold. Woohoo! Our cleaning lady was also here this morning, though she left a bit ago. So all in all, today has been loud and busy.

Yesterday consisted of PT and a glutathione injection, so that was fun (please note the sarcasm). PT is something I look forward to, but getting stabbed with a needle… not so much. Seems like my ankle is going through yet another “phase” of throwing tantrums and has been refusing to calm down for the last month or so. We’re not exactly sure what’s going on as the pain has increased and my motor control isn’t getting any better. It can be a bit frustrating for me so right now i’m trying to just get through it. We used ultrasound on the side of my ankle yesterday to help with pain, along with massage… did anybody say OW?! It looks like a lot more of the hands on therapy is in my future which is fine by me, it can just be a bit painful. Even so, it’s clear that you don’t get through life unscathed, so it is what it is for now. i’m lucky to have such a great physical therapist who is extremely knowledgable and is helping me get through this + is helping to keep me in a positive mental place along the way.

Today is just a boring day at home though so really I have nothing even relatively interesting to talk about. I upgraded my Iphone to IOS10 which i’m loving so far, and The Sims announced a new expansion pack which i’m excited about. I’m a bit of a techy kid, but what teenager isn’t these days?

So for now, that’s all. My dog is staring at me and clearly wants something which means I better figure it what she wants ASAP. She’s a 4 year old terrier so ignoring her isn’t exactly an option! Who knows when you’ll hear from me again or if you even want to hear from me again. Stay strong and take things day by day! Bye for now 🙂

Hard 2 Weeks

Not sure what’s up. Don’t really know how to put into words what i’m feeling other than angry and exhausted. Couldn’t tell you why i’m angry or why i’ve been lashing out at everyone and everything for the past 2 weeks, I just kinda am. Not feeling well and not feeling like myself, that’s for sure.

I ordered a “Giving Key” today and it has a pretty cool concept behind it. They have a bunch of words you can choose from, or you can come up with a custom one (up to 9 letters) which is what I did. Once I fulfill and find solace in “Quiet” (the word I chose) i’ll pass the key onto someone who needs it more than I do. I’ll be holding onto it for a while, but once i’m ready, it’ll be sent to someone who is close to my heart and I think needs it just as much as I do. I can’t wait to get it and wear it as a reminder to find my quiet place in even the most stressful of times. If you want to check them out i’ll leave the link below. I hope everyone is doing okay and i’ll definitely be writing more, you guys will be sick of me! Goodnight everyone, stay strong.

https://www.thegivingkeys.com/

(They are also sold in other places/websites but that is the main website)

Loss

I’ve lost a lot of things since I became sick. I’ve lost friends, i’ve lost my health, i’ve lost my ability to ride my horse. I’ve been surrounded by loss and i’ve dealt with it and taken it in stride. I’ve always been able to jump over those hurdles, or at least pull

myself over them. Yesterday I lost something, someone, that meant more to me than I can ever explain. She was my 15 year old dog. Her name was Belle (I called her Bella) which stands for “beautiful” in Italian. She was an absolutely gorgeous dog, both inside and out. We rescued her when she was about 1 (I was about 4) from a shelter not far from where I live. She had been in a bad situation where (we think) the man was abusive towards his wife or kids. We think that because from the minute she came home she protected both my mom and I, more so myself as I was little and she seemed to understand that. I pretty much grew up with her by my side. Whenever I was sick she wouldn’t leave my side and rightfully earned her nickname of “nurse dog.” A year or so ago someone tried to enter my house while I was home alone. Even in her old age, Belle growled the most viscous growl while showing her teeth and keeping an eye on me in the other room to make sure that I was safe. Thankfully whoever it was left before even taking more than a few steps into the house and Belle is to thank for that. Belle was my girl, she stayed by my side throughout my entire Lyme journey up to this point. She was there for me, always making me laugh and smile through the tears. Whenever I was upset she would be by my side or just tried to show me that she was there. My little sparkle of life isn’t here anymore and my heart couldn’t be anymore broken. Yesterday we did the last kind thing we could do for her, we released her from the pain that she had so bravely withstood. Yesterday my beautiful sparkle of light, my beautiful Bella girl, left this world. I miss her to a point that words cannot even describe, I will miss her to no end but now know that there is a sparkle of light up there somewhere keeping watch over me. Bella girl, mama loves you and is so thankful that you came into my life. Thank you for just being you, thank you for being my girl, thank you for being my best friend. I love you so so much. This isn’t a goodbye, it’s just a see you later my little angel 💕12063593_1015453251855227_5644274297517081134_n (1)