Daze

5/27/15

Every day is a daze. More often than not, it’s the same routine. Get up, brush my teeth, slowly and quietly drag my feet down the hallway. I make my way down the stairs to the kitchen and over to quietly wake my dogs up. This is how my morning starts, every day. This is my routine, something that I know for sure will be and can be the same every morning. It’s reliable, this routine is reliable. It’s something that will be something I can rely on and won’t have to think about.

I wish I could say that the rest of my life was such a routine. When you live with a chronic illness, especially one that effects your brain in a way that it does mine, you are constantly searching for that “reliable” routine. That routine is comforting because you know it’ll be the same and you don’t have to worry about anything else, you don’t have to think about any change that you may encounter in other situations in life. Going through my day can be and often is a challenge. Communicating with others that I don’t talk to every day often makes me nervous. This results in me blanking on words even more or stuttering. Not a big deal, but I don’t like it and it frustrates me. Oh if only you could get a “script” of the conversations you’d have that day in advance! That would make my life so much easier, at least then I could plan what to say haha.

Today wasn’t a horrible day. I didn’t cry at the barn so that’s a plus! I’ll be able to pick up my new car this weekend which is very exciting but nerve wracking. I’ll also be starting my new protocol of supplements this weekend…. yikes. Taking tomorrow to rest (Thursday) and then i’ll be spending some time with the pony this weekend. I’ve pushed my body today so now it’s time to go rest! Hope everyone is doing well and hanging in.

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