I’ve been really trying to focus on staying positive recently, mainly because it feels as if we have hit a brick wall. I am allergic to two medications now that could have really helped me. It’s disappointing knowing that you were so close to being on the right path again, to finding your way out of this mess, then boom. A big tall brick wall standing in your way of getting better. You can knock that brick wall down, and you will eventually, but right now it seems as if it’s there for good. No matter which way you run to try to get around it, how hard you try to knock it down, the attempts at climbing over it… you just can’t. Not right now. And that’s okay, i’m working on accepting that. It hit me very hard the other day at the barn and then a bad lesson on top of it put me in tears, so it hasn’t been a very good few days.
I know good things are to come and something good will come out of this whole experience, which is really what i’m trying to remind myself of right now. I’d love to go into psychology when i’m older so maybe this experience will help me to relate to potential patients? Don’t know, but something has gotta come from all of this. I’ll be going back on my previous medication routine which will hopefully keep me from slipping back any further in the next few weeks and i’ll be keeping myself occupied to avoid dwelling on the negative. I’m leaning heavily on friends and family right now which I hate to do, especially because two of my best friends are sick as well, but they are being unbelievably understanding and are helping to hold me up. Taking deep breaths of positive in, and letting the negative go. It’s going to be a good day….